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Hi, I am YendisFish!

Hello, my name is YendisFish! And I am a software engineer who is interested in theology! This blog will track my progress and personal theological views and developments. Here I will present essays and stories about myself. I currently am a Latter Day Saint who enjoys church history and Joseph Smith in particular.

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The Substance

     I've recently watched this movie called "The Substance", which I have a lot to say about it. The movie starts out about an aged actress called Lizzy who grows insecurity about her body because of harsh comments from her manager. The manager is trying to find young girls to recruit and pushing Lizzy out of the business. He has succeeded and now she's left alone with her own thoughts and insecurities.  As the story continues, Lizzy is reached out about an experience she can have, called The Substance. In the video demonstration she watches, it is explained quite simply as having a better version of yourself. A second body, with a few rules attached. You have to stabilize your other self everyday, and switch bodies every 7 days with no exception, and "Remember You Are One".  Lizzy doesn't fall for it at first, but her insecurities cave in and she decides to order The Substance. She follows the instructions and begins to enjoy her beautiful and young bo...
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My Beautiful Day

  Remove the lights, remove the walls. All that which shines around me in this world. We all think it's for the best. But today I learned it wasn't. People in their raves. A club so loud that they cannot hear themselves. Oh, so why have I surrounded myself with such a haze? Something so cloudy even God would tremble in the midst of it. Something so huge that Goliath would be trampled in its midst. Let it fall away. And you will find the many wonders that God can show you. Let it fall away and your personhood will flourish. Let it fall away and you will find structure. Not in the lights. Not in the people. But in yourself. In your own, stripped, and naked self. I take it with me, and I take my wife. And we have our day. Without the lights, without the walls. And we wander the day of paradise as though Eden had been restored. A day so nice, that I made other days the same way. Without their lights and walls. Because that isn't me. What's me is the pure world. With my wi...
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What If We Were Alive?

     If me and you were in a town, and we walked into an ice cream shop. What are we thinking about the cashier? The man behind scooping the ice cream, adding the sprinkles and taking our cash. Do we use our imagination?  Think up a baby in our minds, that baby would be the ice cream man. That baby has parents, perhaps a dark haired woman and dark haired man. I can also imagine a birthday party for this baby, the family photo being taken. The baby is sitting on the floor in front of a boring blue background. with the parents on the floor with him. Or....is it a man who goes home every shift, sits in the closet and falls asleep there? He might wake up at 2 am to eat something like chips. Who knows, who is this man anyway? Is he even alive? In this town, is anyone alive? Do you think so? Does it cross your mind?  Is there better things than buying an ice cream cone? Things like building a house and farm, I could even climb a mountain probably. I would feel more al...
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